THREE WAYS TO WIN A MAN'S HEART.

Three simple tricks to do to get him propose.

Three things every lady must know to get the man of her dreams.

Oftentimes, relationships are unpredictable. Have you ever wondered why a promising relationships suddenly just collapse and turn to ruins and ashes? Most times, ladies are the victims of this destruction. Sometimes, men suffer it too. I had a friend who was dating a guy. Everyone in her family knew the guy and even we- her friends - were sure that in a few years’ time, they would get married. Suddenly, the guy stopped coming and our friend couldn’t stop crying. We later learnt that they’d broken up after FOUR years of intense relationship. Situations like this are countless and they happen everywhere and every time. The question then should be, what are the ladies doing wrong? Of course, guys too are not blameless, but for today, let's focus on the ladies. Later, we will discuss about guys.

Every guy has an ego and he guides the ego jealously. We are born in a world where a male child had been made to understand right from the beginning of his life that he was destined to be the head, the winner in every situation and the protector of his family (including his mother, elder and younger sisters).
All these give him an ego, a sense of pride that he doesn’t want to joke with. Therefore, a typical guy’s life is a race. He has already planned his life immediately he’s old enough to understand how life works and he already has a clear picture of where he wants to be in the future, how rich he wants to be, the wife he wants to marry and how many children he would have. After forming all these, his min then becomes centered on these goals and he will do everything possible to achieve these goals unless he has a better vision.

In his plan, there's marriage but it is definitely not the first thing on his list- it is towards the bottom of his list. But on an average woman’s list, marriage takes the precedence, thus, everything a woman does is towards the achievement of a happy marriage. This is where men and women differ. This is why a man will keep pursuing his dream job or dream house while a woman would be running after the same man. It doesn’t mean that an average man values his career more than his lady, but he wants to command some level of respect from his lady as the head of the family and the major way he could do that is by being successful in his career or to have enough money to provide for his lady! So it is a really crazy circle.

Personally, this is happening to me. I have my plans, goals and visions and until these goals (or greater part of them) are achieved, I am not ready to pop the question to any lady. For some years back now, I have been in some relationships and in most cases, I have not been totally committed even when the ladies in question were giving signals and shooting their shots. Why, because I have not achieved, to some level of satisfaction, my set goals. This is the way an average man thinks and no amount of threat, persuasion or cajoling will change a man.

Unfortunately, most men’s goals are unrealistic, selfish and egocentric. If a male child tells you that he wants to become a president, he means it and he will keep pursuing that dream until he achieves it or he drops it when he finally realizes that that dream is not achievable.
What can a woman do then to get a man who is not committed to be able to pop the question (Will you marry me)?

There are tons of things a woman could do but I’ll mention only three for now and subsequently list the others. These are:

1. Believe in and pursue his dreams with him.
2. Show him love and respect.
3. Learn how not be too available.

Believe In And Pursue His Dreams With Him.

Unlike ladies, we guys hardly have anyone to pour our hearts to. Even our closest male friends most times are not our confidantes. When it comes to matters that are very important to our lives, we prefer sharing them with the opposite sex who cares. One of the reasons why your man has not popped the question yet is most probably he has not achieved his dreams and set goals. What you can do to get him is to FULLY support the achievement of these goals because when he has achieved the goals, you are going to be the next thing on his list and at that time, he would do everything within and beyond his power to get you. He would chase you to the heavens if you play hard to get to that level. Lol. 

So talk to him. Ask him questions about his dreams and visions. Listen to him and offer useful suggestions, advices and help (If you can help him in any way). If you do this, he feels loved, grateful and loyal. One day when he finally achieves his dream, he will keep you by his side. Former president of Nigeria, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, is a good example of this. Also, the immediate past president of US is a living testimony to this fact. Even if he hangs out with other ladies, he sees you as his anchor and pillar that he can always fall back on. Forget about those other ladies he hangs out with, if they don’t help build his dreams like you do, they are just side chicks to him. He may not say it in words but deep in his heart, he appreciates you and sees you as an angel.

The Reversal of this law: In supporting and pursuing his dreams, do not neglect your dreams too. Pursue your dreams too because one day when he has achieved his dreams, he would need a woman of equal standard whom he could showcase to the whole world. If you are below his standard by then, he may push you out of the picture. So while you are helping him, help yourself too so that you can be relevant when he is finally ready to settle down.

Show Him Love And Respect.

No matter how gentle and easy going a man is, never abuse or rebuke him in the presence of strangers. Men’s pride has very thin skin, any insult or abuse on his personality or ability will hurt him deeply though he may pretend to you that it’s nothing. No matter how much you play and taunt each other, NEVER taunt him in front of strangers, not even in front of his friends or family members. In the privacy of your room, you can taunt and rebuke him as much as you want and he may even prostrate for you to apologize but a slight public insult may cause an irreparable damage in your relationship.

I have a friend who is bald headed, he has a close female friend who used to taunt and playfully body shame him because of his bald head. We all knew that the lady loves him madly and in her own (ignorant) way, she thought she was just being funny by taunting him with his bald head but what she doesn’t know is that whatever little feeling the guy had for her before had perished because of her continual foolish remarks. But we didn’t tell her that, rather, we let her continue her folly.

 It annoys the guy a lot because the reason why she taunts him is not his fault and try as he may, he can never remedy that situation. So what started at first as a joke and banter between them had developed over time into hatred because the lady was not smart enough to know when to shut up. Don’t make the same mistake, never body shame a man you intend to marry.  Respect and honour him and let him have the feelings that you consider him better than any other guy out there and he will love you madly.

Reversal of the law: There is no reversal.

Don’t Be Too Available.

Many ladies often make the mistake of being too available. It is true that familiarity breeds contempt. Learn how to strengthen your relationship by your absence. Once in a while, when he wants you to come over to his place, tell him you cannot. Find an excuse not to go to him but make sure that your excuse is tangible. Lie if you must. He will think more about you if he doesn’t see you always but if you are always there at his beck and call, then he will take you for granted and begin to look for a tougher lady that would stress him. It is part of our DNA as men to face struggles and difficult situations. The more problems we solve the more we believe in our abilities. So a lady who falls easily to a man’s charm will soon fall out of favour.

Learn how to distance yourself sometimes. Don’t always be there. One of my friends is in a dilemma now. He is madly in love with a lady but another lady was madly in love with him. If the guy should just fall sick a bit, the lady that's in love with him would be all over his house; cooking, cleaning and washing his cloths. Yet he doesn’t love her. His heart is in the other lady who doesn’t even have his time! Just a smile from his crush and he would become the happiest man on earth. Whenever I see this other lady with unreciprocated love, I feel sorry for her. Yet, I feel she has done too much. She should make herself scarce. If possible, she should fake hanging out with another guy to make our friend jealous. Unfortunately, she is not thinking in this direction. Don’t be like this lady; make a man chase you and not the other way round. If a man doesn’t chase you, don’t chase him, pretend to chase someone else and he will start running back to you!

Watch out for part two.